The Rhyme of the Rusher

The Rhyme of the Rusher
By DOSS CHIDERDOSS in Sporting Times, 29 Oct. In Appropriate Rhyming Slanguage.


I was out one night on the strict teetote, 1 without drink
  ’Cause I couldn’t afford a drain;
I was wearing a leaky I’m afloat, 2 coat
  And it started to France and Spain. 3 rain
But a toff was mixed in a bull and cow, 4 swell; row
  And I helped him to do a bunk; 5 get away
He had been on the I’m so tap, and now 6 rap
  He was slightly elephant’s trunk. 7 drunk


He offered to stand me a booze, so I 8 drink
  Took him round to the “Mug’s Retreat;”
And my round the houses I tried to dry 9 trousers
  By the Anna Maria’s heat. 10 fire
He stuck to the I’m so to drown his cares,
  While I went for the far and near, 11 beer
Until the clock on the apples and pears 12 stairs
  Gave the office for us to clear. 13 warning


Then round at the club we’d another bout,
  And I fixed him at nap until
I had turned his skyrockets inside out, 14 pockets
  And had managed my own to fill,
Of course, I had gone on the half-ounce trick,15 bounce
  And we quarrelled, and came to blows;
But I fired him out of the Roiy quick,
  And he fell on his I suppose. 16 nose


And he laid there, weighing out prayers for me,
  Without hearing the plates of meat 17 feet
Of a slop, who pinched him for “d. and d.” 18 policeman; arrested; drunk and disorderly
  And disturbing a peaceful beat,
And I smiled as I closed my two mince pies 19 eyes
  In my insect promenade;
For out of his nibs I had taken a rise, 20 him; advantage
  And his stay on the spot was barred.


Next morning I brushed up my Barnet Fair, 21 hair
  And got myself up pretty smart;
Then I sallied forth with a careless air,
  And contented raspberry tart. 22 heart
At the first big pub I resolved, if pos., 23 possible
  That I’d sample my lucky star;
So I passed a flimsy on to the boss 24 banknote
  Who served drinks at the there you are. 25 bar


He looked at the note, and the air began
  With his language to pen and ink; 26 stink
For the mug I’d fleeced had been his head man, 27 fellow; cheated
  And had done him for lots of chink. 28 robbed; money
I’m blessed if my luck doesn’t hum and ha,
  For I argued the point with skill;
But the once a week made me go ta-ta 29 beak
  For a month on the can’t keep still. 30 everlasting wheel=mill

Taken from Musa Pedestris, Three Centuries of Canting Songs and Slang Rhymes [1536―1896], collected and annotated by John S. Farmer.

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. . .
The Chickaleary Cove
Blooming Æsthetic
’Arry at a Political Picnic
Rum Coves that Relieve us
Villon’s Good-Night
Villon’s Straight Tip To All Cross Coves
Culture in the Slums
A Plank-Bed Ballad
The Rondeau of the Knock
The Rhyme of the Rusher
Wot Cher!
Our Little Nipper
The Coster’s Serenade