The Faker’s New Toast

The Faker’s New Toast
By BON GAULTIER (“Nimming Ned”) in Tait’s Edinburgh Magazine.


Come, all ye jolly covies, vot faking do admire, 1 fellows; stealing
And pledge them British authors who to our line aspire;
Who, if they were not gemmen born, like us had kicked at trade,
And every one had turned him out a genuine fancy blade, 2 pickpocket
  And a trump.


’Tis them’s the boys as knows the vorld, ’tis them as knows mankind,
And vould have picked his pocket too, if Fortune (vot is blind)
Had not to spite their genius, stuck them in a false position,
Vere they can only write about, not execute their mission,
  Like a trump.


If they goes on as they’re begun, things soon will come about,
And ve shall be the upper class, and turn the others out;
Their laws ve’ll execute ourselves, and raise their hevelation,
That’s tit for tat, for they’d make that the only recreation
  Of a trump.


But ketch us! only vait a bit, and ve shall be their betters;
For vitch our varmest thanks is due unto the men of letters,
Who, good ’uns all, have showed us up in our own proper light,
And proved ve prigs for glory, and all becos it’s right 3 steal
  In a trump.


’Tis ve as sets the fashion: Jack Sheppard is the go 4 fashion
And every word of ‘Nix my dolls’ the finest ladies know;
And ven a man his vortin’d make, vy, vot d’ye think’s his vay?
He does vot ve vere used to do—he goes to Botany Bay
  Like a trump.


Then fill your glasses, dolly palls, vy should they be neglected,
As does their best to helewate the line as ve’s selected?
To them as makes the Crackman’s life, the subject of their story, 5 burglar’s
To Ainsworth, and to Bullvig, and to Reynolds be the glory, 6 Notes
  Jolly trumps.


“Bon Gualtier” was the joint nom-de-plume of W. E. Aytoun and Sir Theodore Martin. Between 1840 and 1844 they worked together in the production of The Bon Gualtier Ballads, which acquired such great popularity that thirteen large editions of them were called for between 1855 and 1877. They were also associated at this time in writing many prose magazine articles of a humorous character, as well as a series of translations of Goethe’s ballads and minor poems, which, after appearing in Blackwood’s Magazine, were some years afterwards (1858) collected and published in a volume. The four pieces above mentioned appeared as stated in Tails Edinburgh Magazine under the title of “Flowers of Hemp, or the Newgate Garland,” and are parodies of well-known songs.

Taken from Musa Pedestris, Three Centuries of Canting Songs and Slang Rhymes [1536―1896], collected and annotated by John S. Farmer.

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. . .
The Pickpocket’s Chaunt
On the Prigging Lay
The Lag’s Lament
Nix My Doll, Pals, Fake Away
The Game Of High Toby
The Double Cross
The Thieves’ Chaunt
The House Breaker’s Song
The Faking Boy To The Crap Is Gone
The Nutty Blowen
The Faker’s New Toast
My Mother
The High-Pad’s Frolic
The Dashy, Splashy.... Little Stringer
The Bould Yeoman
The Bridle-Cull and his little Pop-Gun
Jack Flashman
Miss Dolly Trull
The By-Blow Of The Jug
The Cadger’s Ball
Dear Bill, This Stone-Jug
. . .